Dear Sir, Dear Madam,
Down please find my unfinished comment on the Zero Draft.
- Background and rationale. I would suggest reorganizing the point that will make up the final text. The concept should come first (1,4,5,6). The definition should name the key characteristics . Next frequency (2,3) and then evaluation(7,8,9). Pont 10 in may opinion has already been considered. Finally actions (11,12,13). I’m not sure if the important 8 points included in 12 are in the appropriate place.
- Objective, purpose scope, alignment and audience. All the five entries are ok for me.
- Principles for action.
Introduction should probably be focused on them avoiding repetition of important concepts already mentioned. The concept of resilience should probably require a more conventional definition so adding the different uses of this concept by organizations.
- Principles for action. I reviewed thoroughly the 4 first principles and read all of them.
Question 1. Ten principles, they are adequate. In my opinion principles should carry a clear and concise message, then I’d propose to reconsider if redundancies are present and if the they are perhaps too long, For no full experienced persons with this scientific ideas and language perhaps the text is sometimes not clear enough.
Question 4. CFS A4A document is appropriate both in vision and mission but perhaps a rewording will improve its quality.
This afternoon I’m leaving for abroad, so I feel sorry for not completing my comments as the Zero draft merits.
Yours faithfully
Manuel Moya
Catedrático E Pediatría/E Professor and Head
Chair of Technical Adviser Group on Nutrition. International Pediatric Association(IPA)
Chief Editor of IPA Newsletter
International Pediatric Association Foundation, Board of Directors
Vice President European Pediatric Association
Academician of the Real Academia de Medicina
Manuel Moya